once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
