how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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