I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
