Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
