Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
