girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
