Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
