i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
