I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize