I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
