Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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