you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
