I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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