I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
