Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
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Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
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either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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