my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Drunk is not a location!
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
