She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize
