If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
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