You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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