I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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