I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
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I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
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His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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