OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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