pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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