She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
