Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
