Umm I'm too high to move.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize