He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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