Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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