Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
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