you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
