You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
