I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
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