I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
wrigley field is MILF paradise
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize