Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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