if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
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