I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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