Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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