super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
