i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize