seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
