new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
