if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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