I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
