i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you will always have a special place in my vag
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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