so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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