Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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