I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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