Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
