Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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