ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
