Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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