i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
