belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
