I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize