I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
you didnt know i had herpes?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
