those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
