hotel room ftw
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
