my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Dicks are not precious.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
