he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
