Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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